It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
