we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize