so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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