4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
