That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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