garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
