I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
