she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize