im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
