i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i barfeds in our rink
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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