Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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