I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
