I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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