You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
