Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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