Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
