apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
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Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
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I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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