Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
