Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
