i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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