Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
