Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
