I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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