I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize