we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
