Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Pooping to opera.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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