I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
