There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Fuck appropriateness.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
