If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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