You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Blood and glitter go together right?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
