Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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