i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
