bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
