Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
accomplished twins. life is a go
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
