this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
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she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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