i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
