if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
