this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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