Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
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