Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
