I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The uberlube is also flammable
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
