Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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