dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
