i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize