I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize