well I can't set my house on fire every night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
