unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize