Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
