Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
