You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm like, not good at living.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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