No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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