I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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