I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
How external is "for external use only"?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
