I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....