She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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