My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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