if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
