Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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