I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
